David El Gnomo




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Crotch Watch Award 2005

Hell, I'd go to hell and back on a moonbeam to get some porn

My Other Website

Dear loyal readers,
   I am dreadfully sorry about not having updated my site since March. It is truly, truly pathetic. Much has happened since then. I became a madam. I assumed that when I killed off my own pimp, I would be chased down, tied to a radiator and have my insides gutted out of me like a deer during hunting season. But thankfully I was not. I guess you could say I was promoted, and the cops didn't even know it was me who castrated man and then left him to die in the elevator of a five star hotel. Don't ask how I did it. A woman never tells. My girls are treated right...provided they give me all their earnings. I give them shelter and cook their meals. Well, they do the cooking. But I provide the food.
  I still do some whoring on the side, but it's much more fun to have a gigalo and pay him. Damn he's fine.

hasselhoff.jpg

That's not him.
 
 
I came across this picture of David Hasselhoff and got so turned on that I had to post it on my site. I got it from google. Did you know, that if you type in crotch watch without the safe search on you get a picture of my cat?...please dont ask how I figured that out...Oh fine. I'll tell you. I was searching google for CROTCH WATCH without the safe search on and came across a picture of my cat.
 

"Protect me, Satan"  ~Strangers With Candy

"Whats a dead man but a live man without any life?" ~MST3k

 

updates...

03/26/07...new sex quiz and about me

08/19/07...added new stuff on the "Venus" page

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doll.jpg

That's what I would look like if my head was twice the size of a basketball and I was only 64 pounds.

I like Stephen Colbert. He's my favorite comedian!